2/8/25 , 1:50am - 2:12am

waow... did i do it.. for realsiez.. actually. i made a site for real. i really did. i would like to thank the 2 hour neocities tutorial, my spotify playlist, and my willpower. now i can talk aboyt my thoughts.. to nothing, no fear of anyone judging my anymore,, hoorah! theres always things that i can never talk to about anyone, No matter how close i am to them; for example. how much i want to kill myself with a gun, not on like depressed shit "i dont wanna live anymor" im so sad waa waa waa,, no, i think that shooting myself is legitimantly the best way i could go out. its sick as fuck and.. j get to shoot a gun.. i love guns. i love everything about guns, their so cool; the sound when u reload mags, the recoil when you shoot one. ngh. everyhting abiut guns. i will cum. I love guns so much. this seems so edgy. dont even joke. UM. i like guns Yeah. ok about the killing myself part too ; its like, If i shoot the gun onto nothing it feels.. like,, worthless you know. But i dont have the guts to harm other people lol . so i think the best bet i have is killing myself, but i dont think id ever actually go through with it. but its not like i have anything to live for anyway, i mean, my life isnt /terrible/ but its not the greatest. i dont have snything particular i would hate my life for, but there isnt amything very positve in it either. i t feels very grey, snd it feels like a hassle to go on . i dont do anything, i dont talk to anyone, everyday is a cycle, and i contribute nothing to the earth. i dont feel like i ever will. i dont know , though, i have like, one friend, thats pretty cool , i think , i like them (platonically lul) . i think it would be pretty sad if i never got to speak to them again, but thenagain , its not liek . it matters. you know. theres nothing in my life worth killing myself over, but theres nothing worth living for either you know..? um . ya. i dont think id ever actually do anything tho , mh. i can never like pull through with anything i tell myslef to do either. i just put it off until its too late and never do it. i feel like a waste of space on the planet i am. its not like i care tho. i hate eevrything and everyone. i hate all of you. So much. you all. every , singlr , one , of , you . . its like um. i feel no one likes me, so why do i have to like you. the way everyone talks to me; it feels like im your last choice, coming to me when theres no one else you can talk to. and its like. ur also constantly leaving me WHENEVER you get the chance.. ? yeah and ithought i was ur best friend.., pal,, sophia I fucking hate you. Ive always hated you. Ive hated you since the third grade. You have never been my best friend, you never will be. you keep saying that your my best friend, but its exactly like I want to be friends with YOU but not vice versa. i know you also hate me, but i hate you in more ways than you will ever know. you are my number one opp sophia. i am not Joking. youve made my life so so much horrible. i hate the way your always in my classes. i hate the way you feel the need to point out everything ive done wrongly in my life as if youve neever done anything poorly in your lufe befor.e oh my god. i actually hate you so juch. i hate that i have to see you everyday. i hate the way that you make jokes about the things important to me. do you even care? i bet you dont. your geniunley the worst person ive ever met; I FUCKING HATE YOU. but, i gues smy life isnt like all that bad . i love my online friends . um . and i know people in real life too sometimes.. thy arent the best people ever, and it feels like they dont like me at times, but, their, they tet me through the day. its not too miserable. but. imstill hate being alive, i hate being real, i hate having a soul. i wish i was a fictional character, with no self consiounce . with no realization. i wish i could be in a constant state of derealization, but um. yeah, that all. teehee!
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2/8/25 , 3:46pm - 4:22pm

it feels like im in a constant state of derealization, i dont feel like a real person, i never had felt like a real person. whenever i did something it felt like ,, a video game of sorts. like i could pause it, and walk away whenever. everyhting i do doesnt feel real. and it never will feel real, i do not wish to be a real person. whenever i remember oh yeah, this is real it feels like, it feels. like. no matter how many times i tell myself that the world is real, it still doesnt feel real. i pictyure myself as my favorite character from my current interest, and whenever i look into a mirror and realize that im .. well quite frankly, not. it . life isnt real for me, nothing is real for me. nothing i do feels like consensual, its like im not actually in my body. i do not feel like i should be here. well i mean i dont think i could feel real even if i tried, my brain is so like. its so like. nothing feels real. nothing looks real. it feels like i am in the worst state of phsycosis Ever, and its been feeling like that ever since. Birth. I DONGT KN)W. I hATE this so much geniunely, i hate ve=ing reminded that things are real, i hate being sreal, i hate realness if thats a thing. i hate the idea of fake and real, mainly because i cannot diffeerentiate between the both?? maybe? i think? but um. yeaah. Eveeryday Its just ;ike, IM like, it slike, iTS LIKE, im.. my favorite character like in real life. but not. on , the tiktok Silly! wau. I geninunely believe i am him reincarnated, not even reincarnted Bro. I am him. Im him in the show. I dony know. I mean..... .. .. .. Ok yeah. UM.. ........ . .. I HATe being a real human being (if i even am , that is, bec ause IT SURE AS FUCCK DOESNT FFEEL LIKE I Am.) it slike. Whenever i go to school, i get reminded on how. im alive, im breathing, i have to blink. i am a real person. and i have to do things tro survive. Im sure this isnt real, its like , its like, its LIKe a phsycological expoirment THey Put on me. Oh yeahn. thnis is all a simulation i fear. Um. I . i . Umm . . . . . ....... ok its nit like this is a one time things either. it feels like. i anm. everyone. all at once, but also nothing . I hate this, i geniunely do not feel the need to live anymore. Why cant one kill thyself without being classified as mentally ill. I do not get those who say "if someone i geniunley Content with their life owuld End it. " I mean. Like. I dont care. My life isntbad. i'd live it again.. if i had to chose. between options. i think. but i . .. i dont want to be a live. Is that a contridicytion . i dont know. i just . i hate . i hate the world i think. its not liek ,,,,,, its not. Ok . um. .... i think everything wouldl be betetr if i had a gun, soemone needs to give me a gun. I NEED A GUN . Please give me . mac10. mac 10 :drool: I Need mac 10 . Lets talk about Some guns. Ok i really like rhte noise pump action shotguns make when they shoot, its so Nhghhhhh im cumming. I think. if i could. I would listen to it. all day everyday. i dont even care if i go deaf Listening To gunshots Tbh, THey sound like rthe best thing ever. i dont get those who use silencers, like, why would you NOT want to hear that. Let it be in all its glory. do it for me. Ouuuhhgggggggggg , Ten hour gunshot compilation. come back to me ten hour gunshot compilation . Ouhj. i also have an insanely bad kink for guns. Like, okay, shoot me while we have sex. Ok . Im cumming. Ough. I love guns. Sorry. thats weird i think. Um, Yeah. I like guns alot. um. yeah. ueueueuuueeueueueueueueueuueu euueueueueuueuetruary ueyruatruyahkjdanshduyfghhpu yegDSHFBoyudgfuyoat dfot. i fell off. .
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2/9/25 , 7:04pm - 7:21pm

namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu namgyu
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2/13/25 , 12:28 am - 1:14 am

i feel like everyones hates me ell em ay oh.., um its ok tho. on everyones soul i dont care ON EVERYONES SOUL I DONT CARE ON EVERYONES SOUL I DONT CARE. ok bruh like Weeeere trolling WHY DO YOU UUST LEAVE ME EVERY CHANCE YOU GEEEEET. i could be like talking with yoi an d ur just like. Ho wait. MY OTHERF RIEND IS HERE! ! HIII!!!!! like comeon bruh are we deadUZZZZ and Okay oh my god and you force me into shit that i dont want to do? Just because ur My friend doesnt mean you CAN DO THAT😅😅 looord have mercy. IVE ALSO Like did MANY THINGS THAT I DIDNT WANT TO because u were my friend and u were cool BUT WHEN I REFUSE ONEEE MOTHERFUCKING THING YOU JUST. YOU JUST LIKE. OH my god. ouhhg. Yo and its like im everyones last choice ALSOOO, Well um irl atleast. I LOVE YOI ONLINE OOMFS😁😁. Lets Goo. Ok no but its like,, vruh nooo one talks to me unless they. dont have anyone else to talk to. AND ITS LIKEEE THEY ALWAYS TALK TO ME FOR SOMETHING TOOO can we not have a basic conversation anymroe. and also why does this one kid have to Mke it so known thatn they hate me like okay bruh WE FRIENDS THO WE FRIENDS THO WE FRIENDS THI???? like okay i know its like a joke but Its like IT DOESNTFWEL LIKE A JOKE NO MORE maybe i suould just like #leav them alone BTU MY ASS DOES NOT HAVE ANY OTHER FRIENDS IN THAT CLASS i will follow yoi like anfucking dog thorugh wveryuitnng IKD. no its actuakly horrible tho i Just follow all my friends Everywhere um Ok this may be a sign that nobody likes me Um Uh um uhm.. whatever bro Whatever no one gaf who hav who gaf who gaf who gaf um Ok whatever its whatever i geuess hwatever whatever. bro i geniunley hate all my irls so much But I Have to FREAKING STICK BY THEM BECAUSE I CANT Mke NEW FRIENDS AT ALLLLLLLLLL whatevah whatevahhhh whatevaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah i just need to lock in amiright i dont need friends am i right hahhahaahhhaaa ill just shoot myself and move onnFJUCK no it ok i do not #Need anyone in real life My online buddies and pals Got me yeeeeess. OK AAIT HOLD ON SOMEONE REALLY COOL ASKED ME TO BE THEIR FRIEND WHILE IM WRITING THIS YUHP ALL MY PROBLEMS ARE SOLVED OK IM SO HAPPY RIGHT NOW MY LIFE WILL BE INDULGED ONTO THE COMPUTER FOREBER I LOVE MH ONLINE FRIEDS ANDMH ONLINE FRIENDS ONLY MY LIFE IS DEDICATED TO THE COMPUTER. Ok Look I Am worlds number one incel trust ;-; Ok ineed to stop being a cornball Ok im stop thping I Stopping im stopping now
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2/22/25 12:59am - 1:12am

ok welcome back to my talk show we afe hashtag back my life has gotten a bit better ithink or worse idk ive had thre midlife crises' and 7 times where i was on the brink lf ending my life but ithink Im Going strong #living Yessss Ok SO I um...? Dude my problems, i dont have them actually, theri so Small. Um. BRO. ok so tis like. i rhink i like hetalia? but i dont WANNA LIKE HETALIA. because i dont wanna watch it. buut ooohhh how i love u aph china...... Ummm..aph china you are so me. ive never watched hetalia in my life. OK WELL i watched a bit but. not much you feel me you feel you feel. Ok ,,,,,,, moving on now. flr the last couple of days ive been not thinking as hard about guns ( wow, crazy , thsi is insane for me ) INSTEAAD ive been fhinking of. slashign my wrists. is that worse. udk. Idk. Its whateber. ok. But more specifically; how badly i need someone ELSE to do it for me. Lord please have mercy. Ok im. im hard. i heeeeed someone to cut my wrists for me🥺 pls Llease God if you can hear me🙏 Ok um. I think its mostly because I Like. Blood or somethig . Ok i like blood ok Ok ok okok ok okfeel like. Ok i still like guns tho ok um um um um um um i like tec9 i like 9mm ilike 9mm i like 9mm i like 9mm i like tec9 ................. ok Im so forreal, when I say i know stuff about guns i mean i know stuff about tec9 . All my research ive done is dedicated to the tec-9, lord jesus christ of nazarath thank you for blessing md with the tec-9 . i lov eyou so much. now bless me again with more razor blades. and the strength to go ddeeoer. OK NO ITS ACTUALLY HORRIBLe i can barely hit styros anymore me last year would hit beans one swipe Its so bad. I think menlast year would kill themselves at the sight of me, Please lord. Give me the strength to carry on. LORD IF YOU CAN HEAR ME GIVE ME THE STRENGTH TO HIT BEANS ONE SWIPE AGAIN. ok but its nit entirely mu fsult i think... they threw away all my razors.. smh! so its lik,d i couldnt do it for a while.. tsk tsk tsk. i always have my tricks.😈Ok hep If anyone yhat i know sees this Pls dont send me to Mental instatution i am just a normal person in this world no desire to harm myself or others let me free i wont do it iwont i wont i wknt i wint i womf..💕 Bro tehse things have been getting shorter and shorter wnd it gets me soo upset Like ok bro.. CAN I NOT WRITE LONG ENOUGH FOR U ANYMORE!! how did me a week ago have so much to sua? ok . anyway. Farewell.
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3/4/25 8:49pm - 8:54pm

ELL EM EF AY OH I got into new media so that means i will be Miserable for the next 2 weeks. OK AND THE WORST PART IS THERE IS NOT SHITE ON THIS MEDIA. well there is But, i just got too used to having 1k+ fics.. Take me back, thangyu & gallavich. Ok to be fair, there are 700 fics ... But filter it in english and theres only 200..... um.. All of its in chinese, and its so horrible. I donf know if i should? learn chinese or what. whatever, i dont care. all i know is that il love them and it makes me miserable. frick my stupid chungus Life. I hate having interests so much, I wish i could be normal and casual ablut everything MY EYEBROW HURTS SO MCUH I SWEAR THERE IS A PARASITE INSIDE MY BODY PLEASE BLOW MY BRAINS OUT dude i cant do this im always soooo tired and exahausted and on the nriknk of falling asleeeeeeeeeeeeeeee SAVE MEEEEEEE i cant do this anymore. Ok anyway, I loev Rentry url reclaim OK OW MY WRISTS HURT RRLY BAD my head hurts but only in one spot(its also like, so hot that it feels cold.) I GHINK IM INTERNALLY BLEEIDNG Owwww owww owwwevedyrhihg hufgs help sabe me ol i hcant adite anymore everything FUCKHGG HURST
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unfortunantly i dont care eniugh to put the date and time ar this time

IM GONNA CRASHOUT
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3/13/25 4:50pm - 5:03pm

i hate having necrophilciac THOUGHTS LET ME OUTTTTT why do i find Fucking dead bodys so Attractivd. Let me out. Pelase. OK SAME GOES WITH SOMNO WHY AM I LIKE THIIIIIIISSSS IM NOT SUPPOSED TO BE A SOMNOPHULIAC IM SUPPOSED TO BE NORMAL AND JOYFUL AND JOY AND FFEEL JOY Ok We are all trolling Let me OUT NOW i dont wanna Fuck Sleeping people 😡Ok Thats not even how half of my somno thoughts go Its like im the one sleeping. OK I Also FREAKING HATE HAVING NECRO THOUGHTS and i dont eeeeeveen have half an excuse for that one i dont eeeven because atleast for somno im the one vulnerable but When i think of necro i just Wannna fuck dead Bodies bro. Also Cannibalistic thoughts You are tearing me to shreads Free me. I zdont Wanna eat people Please let me our.. Like in the middle of class i just try to bite off my hand becssue it looksk resllly good Um Uhhhhggg I DONTNWANNA DO THIS ANYMKREEEEEEEEEE i cant do this pleaeessss plesssee please. let me go Back to Just Fully thirsting Over guns . The worst part about this is That I Have to think of Somno/necro To Fall asleep because I actually cannot if i dont.. either that or i Like Slit my wrists. Dude i hate it here i Hust Wanna Ge normal I DONT WANNA BE AN EDGELORD FOR ANY LONGER #I need to kill my self NOW. This is because of. You
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